Morgana's Revenge
by GrayShoedWonder
Summary: Set post Ssn 2, ep 3. AU – What if Merlin had helped Morgana when she'd found her magic and she had fallen in love with him? Then what if she had asked Uther to marry Merlin? Rated T for some violent scenes.
1. Chapter 1: Banished

**Okay, so this is my first attempt at a Merlin fic. I'm a HUGE fan of the Merlin/Morgana pairing, so I figured I'd give them a(nother) story...**

**PLOT:**

**Set post Ssn 2, ep 3. AU – What if Merlin had helped Morgana when she'd found her magic and she had fallen in love with him? Then what if she had asked Uther to marry Merlin? Rated T for some violent scenes.**

**Please review if you read; it would be much appreciated. And no flames, I don't need them. Constructive criticism, yes, but nothing nasty.**

CHAPTER 1: BANISHED

"Why can I not be with him?" Morgana asked furiously, glaring at Uther, who sat coolly in his throne as though nothing was going on. His face was turned away, his chin resting on his fist. "I am in love with him, and he with me. Do you not want me to be happy?"

Uther turned his head sharply toward her, his cool façade slipping. "Because you do not truly love him! You only think you do!"

"I will not be told how to feel! I know the truth, and I know that I love him!"

Uther stood up furiously, his robe swirling around him. "You cannot love him; you barely know him!"

Morgana drew herself up, her black curls tumbling around her face, her blue eyes flashing. "I have known him for three years. Surely that is enough! He is a good man, a kind man. Surely that is what you want for me!"

"He is a servant! You deserve a lord or a prince, not some footman!" Uther stepped forward, and Morgana stepped back. "Let this go, Morgana. He is below your station."

"He is below nobody's station. I would rather marry a lowly good man than a lord with not a shred of kindness."

"This is ridiculous, Morgana. You will never be allowed to marry him. I will not let you."

"You cannot stop me," she said threateningly, clenching her fists.

"I am your king!" he shouted, taking another step towards her. She flinched, then inwardly cursed herself for it. "You will not backtalk or second guess me! Your father, rest his soul, put me in charge of you when he died, and I will not break the promise I made by letting you marry where you do not belong!"

"He is so much more than a servant. Wherever he is, that is where I belong!" Morgana was shouting too, almost pleading.

Uther threw up his hand, cutting his ward off. "This discussion is over, Morgana. Leave."

Morgana shook with rage. "I love him more than I love you, more than I love Camelot, more than I love myself. You cannot take that away from me!"

Uther froze in the act of turning around. "You think that I cannot?" he said, back to her, his voice dangerously calm. "You think I will not?" She was silent. "He is banished. Exiled forever."

"No," she breathed, horror filling her eyes and her voice. "Please, my lord. Don't."

"You leave me no choice. Take him away."

"Merlin!" Morgana whirled around as the guards began to drag the gagged and struggling figure back towards the door. "No, Uther, please!"

Arthur spoke up for the first time, moving out of the shadows. "Be thankful it isn't worse, Morgana."

She turned to him. "What would you know about it? How could you understand? He is your friend, as am I. Don't let your father do this to us."

"That is enough. You will be silent or leave," Uther turned to face her again, pulling himself up to his full height. "I have reached my limit. Do not push me any farther."

"Banish me too. Banish me for loving him."

Uther seemed to vibrate with repressed fury, but he didn't directly respond to Morgana'as challenge. "Guards. Lock them both in the cells for the night."

"Father, is that really necessary?" Arthur asked, stepping forward.

"I have had too much questioning of my decisions today. You will not speak again unless you wish to join your friends in the dungeons." Arthur shut his mouth.

"You're just scared!" Morgana jeered as red-tuniced guards seized her upper arms. "You're frightened of love. Love is nothing to be feared. But what would you know about it? You lost the ability to love years ago. You do not even love your own son!"

The guards froze in horror. Uther moved so close that he was barely two inches away from her, and bent down, putting his face right beside hers. "You will never speak like that to me again."

"Stop me," the girl challanged, fierce pride shining in her eyes.

The king scrutinized her. "What has he done to you?"

"He has done nothing. I love him of my own volition."

"I hope that time apart will cure you of this false feeling." For a moment the room was completely still.

"I will love him forever."

"Take them away."

The guards dragged the two of them to the dungeons and threw them into adjacent cells. Morgana landed heavily on her shoulder in the dirty hay that sparcely covered the floor of the cubicle. The door clanged shut behind her and the key clattered in the lock. The guards stomped away, their armor grating against the flagstones.

"Morgana?" Merlin was at the bars of the cell, reaching between them towards her. She scrabbled over to him and clutched at his hands.

"Oh Merlin, what are we going to do?" She sagged against the wooden slats, resting her head on them. The boy disentangled one of his hands and put it against her face, stroking her skin.

"It will be okay. You can find a way out of the city, or I can find a way in. We'll be together someday."

She leaned up and put her lips on his. "I hope so," she breathed, pulling away.

"I know so," he whispered in her ear.


	2. Chapter 2: A Royal Decree

**Wow. The response to this has been really amazing – I appreciate everyone's support, silent or otherwise! Anyway, given that, I'm sure this chapter will alienate at least three of you... which is a little disappointing, to be honest... Anyway, I hope you enjoy and at least don't hate me; even if you do, I encourage you to keep reading, because it gets better... at least in some ways. :)**

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CHAPTER 2: A ROYAL DECREE

Arthur put his hands on the table and looked at his father. "Father, maybe you should think about this," he offered.

"There is nothing to think about. She believes she is in love with him." Uther glared at the empty room and the cold columns. "I fear that banishing him will not be enough."

"Merlin is a good servant. If I could speak to him, perhaps I could dissuade him from this course of action," Arthur said, a little desperately.

"That will not work."

"How do you know?" the prince asked, outraged.

"I know her! She will not give up." He paused, thinking. "The only way to stop it is to kill him. Maybe then she'll see sense."

"You can't do that!" Arthur was shocked by this turn of events. "Father, that is ridiculous!"

"It shall be done. Tomorrow noon, Merlin dies."

Arthur left the room, slamming the large wooden door shut behind him. The guards glanced at him, then swiftly returned their eyes to the wall opposite them. He barely noticed where he was going as he thundered down into the dungeons and stormed past the guards. "Leave us!" he snapped at the guards by Merlin and Morgana's cells. They bowed slightly and clanked away.

Arthur looked at the two prisoners for the first time. The flickering light of the torches didn't extend to the far reaches of the cells, so the back corners were dark and shadowed. He could barely make out the two figures crouched on the floor, separated by the bars.

"How could you be this stupid, Merlin?" he asked in fury. "I warned you not to do that!"

The figure on the right stood up and stepped forward, the light illuminating his face. "I love her, and she loves me. I couldn't stop myself, any more than you can stop your heart from beating or your lungs from breathing."

Arthur ignored him. "And you, Morgana. Going to my father and _asking_ him if you could marry Merlin? Did you really think he would say yes?"

Morgana rose and brushed the straw from her velvet skirts. Defiance shone from her face. "I had to try. But he can't stop me anymore, Arthur. I will run away and join Merlin in the outlying villages, and we will be together. Uther cannot stop us from being together anymore than he can stop us from loving each other."

"You don't understand!" Arthur brought his palm down on the wall, turning his back to the two of them.

"I understand perfectly-" Morgana began, but Arthur cut her off.

"He's going to kill Merlin."

"What?" Dread had replaced the fierce rebellion in her voice. When the prince made no response, she stepped to the bars, wrapping her fingers around them. Merlin stood frozen, his face slipping into a mask of disbelief. "Arthur!" the girl snapped. "What did you say?"

"He's going to kill Merlin. Hang him, tomorrow at noon."

"But why?" Desperation wrapped itself around the dread already choking her throat.

"He has convinced himself that as long as Merlin lives, you will profess yourself to be in love with him. The king has persuaded himself that this is the only way." Arthur rotated so he was facing them. No anger or rage fueled his voice or actions now. Instead dispair hung heavy from his shoulders, weighing him down.

"Leave," Morgana said, leaning away from the bars. Arthur moved forward, but the girl shrank away from him as though he carried the plague. "Leave!"

"I'm sorry," he said, stopping. "I wish there was something I could do, but the king will not listen to reason right now."

Merlin reached through to Morgana, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her as close as the wooden rods allowed. "Please leave," he said into Morgana's hair.

The prince turned and left, casting one last look over his shoulder at the two of them. They stood like that for many minutes. The guards did not return. Finally the girl pulled away and looked into the boy's eyes.

"You could use magic. Escape."

Without even thinking about it, he shook his head. "No. No way am I leaving you here to face that tyrant alone."

"But you would be alive," she cried, her distress becoming more evident by the second. "I can't bear the thought of losing you!"

"What do you think would happen to you if I got away? Uther would know it was magic and blame you for hiding me, then kill you. I can't smuggle both of us out of the city, no matter how much magic we both have." Merlin's blue eyes captured her gray ones. "I will not risk you. I am marked for death anyway, but I could not bear it if I knew that you would die also."

"Oh Merlin," she whispered as his words sank in. "I'm scared."

"It will be okay," he breathed into her dark hair, closing his eyes. "It will all be okay."

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	3. Chapter 3: Preparations

**My gosh you guys this is amazing! I never expected this many people to read my story, much less enjoy it! So I just wanted to say thanks. Cuz I'm kinda strange like that...**

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CHAPTER 3: PREPARATIONS

The next morning dawned bright and early. Light came streaming in the sliver of a window at the top of Merlin's cell and danced on his eyelids, waking him. He put one hand over his eyes and rolled over, trying to remember where he was. It all came back to him in a flash. The revelation, then being thrown in the dungeon, being told that he was going to be executed.

Slowly he sat up, careful not to disturb Morgana who was asleep in the other cell, her fingers twisted around his. She shifted slightly in her sleep, her hand sliding a little from his. He extracted his fingers and stood quietly, determined not to wake her yet. He needed a little time to himself.

For twenty minutes he paced the small space that had become his brief home. His thoughts whirled wildly. A small part of him cried to save himself, that his destiny to protect Arthur still stood and that he must honor it. He pushed it away. Morgana was his life now. He would do whatever it took to keep her safe, and if that meant dying, so be it.

A rustling pulled him from his thoughts. Morgana was sitting up, brushing straw from her hair and blinking in an effort to adjust to the change in light. "Merlin?" she asked, reaching out.

"I'm here." He sprang across the cell and grabbed her hand. "I'm still here."

As she remembered their situation, Morgana's face, so peaceful in sleep, fell into the dark despair of hopelessness. "Oh Merlin," she whispered again. "Today is the day."

"Don't think about it," he said, cupping her face in his hand. "Don't worry."

"How can I not?" she asked. "You are going to be-" she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"Shhh," he murmured, knowing that nothing he could do would ease her pain. He turned her face to him and kissed her. "It's going to be okay in the end."

For hours they sat there, holding hands, kissing, talking about the past. Breakfast was brought by a surly guard, and they ate slowly, Merlin cherishing his last meal.

The sun rose in the sky, and they tracked its progress across the floor of the cell, counting down the time. At almost noon, more guards came in, led by Arthur. "Take them," he said, clearly hating himself for every word.

The keys jangled in the lock and the soldiers pulled Morgana away from Merlin, hauling them both from the cubicles. Wordlessly, Arthur led them from the dungeon and into a small antechamber. "Take her," he said, gesturing to Morgana.

"No!" she screamed, grasping and clawing at Merlin, who fought his guards so viciously they almost collapsed. "You cannot take him from me!"

Arthur sighed. "Stop. If you are good, I will give you three minutes to say goodbye once you are cleaned up. Gwen waits for Morgana next door. My father would allow no more." Morgana stopped fighting and Merlin froze mid-thrash. "Thank you." The prince gestured to the guards, who carried the noblewoman through a smaller door.

Merlin was released, and Arthur pointed to a small basin of water. "Wash your hands and face, Merlin," he ordered. "And try to make yourself presentable, for goodness sake."

The servant looked at him coldly. "Why should I? I'm going to die anyway." Arthur ignored him, shutting the door loudly behind him. Merlin splashed some water on his face and exhaled loudly.

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Morgana glared at Gwen, her upright posture and regal look at odds with her disheveled appearance and dirty face. "And I suppose you want to help me," she said coldly to the serving girl.

"I tried to see you last night," she said, stepping forward. "Uther had put guards all over the dungeons and the halls. There was no way to get to you, and no way to get you out."

Morgana's angry exterior shattered and she burst into tears. Gwen threw her arms around the girl. "Gwen, I'm so scared," the lady sobbed into her friend's shoulder.

"I wish I could tell you that it will be okay," Gwen whispered. "But I don't know if it will be." She pulled away, holding Morgana at arms length. "Look at the state of you!" she laughed, trying to make light despite the darkness of the situation. "We need to get you cleaned up."

"So I can see my love killed at the hands of my king?" the other asked miserably. "It seems hardly worth it."

"Do you want Merlin to see you like this?" Gwen said, picking up a brush and setting to work untangling her dark hair. "Come now, Lady Morgana. You must put on a brave face, for him at least, if not for yourself."

In the next five minutes her hair was braided, hands and face scrubbed porcelain-pale, and her dress changed. She had undergone a transformation, and now looked every inch the King's ward, down to the strong defiance in her eyes.

"There, you're done." Gwen stepped back as she finished straightening the back of Morgana's long red dress.

"I suppose I should say thank you," the girl began, turning around. "But I'm not sure how."

"Don't worry about it," she said, grabbing and squeezing her friend's hand.

There was a slow knocking on the door and it inched open. Arthur's head was stuck through. "Your time with Merlin is beginning. Come, Guinevere." Gwen gave Morgana a smile and left, passing Merlin.

"Oh Merlin," Morgana breathed, dashing across the room and throwing her arms around him. "You can still get away. Use magic."

"I can't. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you because of me."

"Your loss is the only unbearable thing."

Merlin breathed into her ear, "You look beautiful. But your dress ought to be green; it suits you better than red does."

"Uther is dressing me in red because it is the Pendragon color. I hate it. I hate him. How could he do this to you? To me? He just wants me to look like I support him, like I support this. The people should see me with you. That's the only part of me that matters."

Merlin pulled himself from her embrace and looked her straight in the eyes. "Morgana, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything." Her gray eyes frantically searched his face.

"When I am gone, you must not do anything to yourself. You must go on living. For me."

"I'm not sure that I can-" she began.

"You must promise me! Promise."

There was a pause, in which Merlin held his breath, waiting for the oath. "I promise." Morgana broke down, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I promise." She pulled Merlin back into a hug, then kissed him. He tangled his hands in her hair, pressing himself against her.

Another knock came at the door and it creaked open. Arthur coughed quietly and the two of them separated. "I love you Morgana," Merlin said as the guards grabbed his arms roughly and dragged him away. Morgana didn't fight, but kept his blue eyes locked on hers until the door was slammed shut behind him.

"Come, Morgana. The king is waiting for you." Arthur grabbed Morgana's hand and tugged at her. She followed him unthinkingly, numb inside and out.

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**Until next time, then...**


	4. Chapter 4: Death and Life

**So I was up 'til midnight last night reworking (NOT rewriting) this chapter and not doing my homework... so if I fail my finals it's all Merlin's and Morgana's fault.**

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CHAPTER 4: DEATH AND LIFE

The courtyard of the castle was filled with people, crowded around the hastily-constructed gallows in the center. Facing the platform was a set of raised and covered seats, where sat Uther and his court. This was where Arthur led Morgana. They took their seats, Gwen on one side of the distraught girl, Arthur on the other.

Uther looked over to ensure that they were all in their places, then raised his hand. "Bring out the prisoner."

Morgana let out an audible gasp and grabbed Gwen's hand as Merlin was hauled through the throngs of people, who parted like a wave to let the small group through. The hangman stood menacingly on the platform, his black hood ominous, one hand on the handle of the trapdoor. Merlin stumbled up the stairs to stand before the noose.

Morgana cast a desperate glance at Arthur, who was watching her. He shook his head almost imperceptibly and glanced at the balconies hanging above them. She followed his gaze and was met with the sight of rows of archers, bows all strung and ready, nocked arrows pointing down into the square. Her next breath was sharp and her eyes danced back to Arthur.

"They're ordered to kill anyone who tries to approach the platform," he whispered in her ear, so the king couldn't hear. "Even myself or you." Morgana looked back at Merlin, who had seen the archers as well. He caught her eyes and also shook his head. He was warning her not to move, not to act. With great force of will she retained her seat.

The announcer stepped forward. "Merlin, you are sentenced to death for defiling the king's ward and insubordinate behavior towards the king himself. Do you have any last words?"

Silent tears spilled out of Morgana's eyes as she saw his bravery in the face of death. He looked at her. "I will love the Lady Morgana past death. If that is so wrong, let me die for it."

The hangman affixed the noose around his neck, then stepped back, grabbing the lever. Morgana was overtaken with the knowledge that he really was going to die. Some part of her had believed that Arthur or Gaius would have planned a desperate escape, or that Merlin would use his magic and save himself, despite what would happen to her. She stood up, reaching for him and ignoring the danger of the arrows. She couldn't imagine what life would be like without him. "No, Merlin," she cried out. The crowd turned to look, but she didn't care. "Merlin! Uther, don't do this!"

The hangman hesitated, but the King raised his hand and made an impatient gesture. The hangman opened the trapdoor, and, with a horrible cracking sound, Merlin fell through.

Morgana screamed. "I'm going to kill you, Uther!" She closed her eyes against the sight of Merlin's dangling body and whirled on the king, fully intending to murder him then and there, choke the life out of him with her bare hands. It took five guards an hour to drag her, twisting and writhing, kicking and biting, back to her chambers and lock the door.

She slammed her fists into the door, the wood shaking under her fists. For hours she cursed everyone she could imagine, but especially Arthur and Uther. Mostly she was in shock that Arthur hadn't even tried to free Merlin, and appalled that Uther had ordered Merlin's death. Eventually she sank to the floor, sobbing and weeping. She woke there the next morning and moved to the window seat.

For two weeks she was confined to her chambers, seen only by Gwen. She didn't speak to anyone and barely moved from her seat by the window, even to sleep. Her weight began to decrease dangerously as she refused all food and drink except water.

Then she got sick. Her body temperature elevated and she lost all energy. She began to sleep in her bed again. In the middle of the third week she began throwing up, especially in the mornings. It became difficult for her to keep any food down, and when the king heard of this, he ordered Gaius to see her.

"How long has this been going on?" Gaius asked Morgana after she described her symptoms, laying a hand on her forehead.

"About a week," she said, sitting up slowly.

A knock came on the door and it swung slowly open. Prince Arthur's head poked through, concern lining his face. "How is she?"

"Get out," she spat, alive with sudden emotion. Part of her had not forgiven him for sitting by and doing nothing while his friend died, while the other, more logical, part knew that he could have done nothing without dying himself and that there was no reason for them both to be gone. Yet the emotional part would not let go; it still ruled her actions.

"I think it's best if you leave us for a moment, sire. I will be out in just a couple of minutes." The prince obligingly disappeared, and Gaius turned back to Morgana. He took a deep, fortifying breath before delivering his news. "My lady, I believe you are pregnant."

Her face turned to shock. "What?"

"Pregnant." Gaius showed no emotion. "Is it Merlin's?" She froze, her eyes flying across his face. "Don't worry. I don't want to hurt you; I'm here to help."

"Yes." She looked down at her hands, twisting in her lap. "It is his. Who else do you think it would belong to?"

"Nobody, nobody," the physician said quickly. "What do you want to do? I have plants that will get rid of it-"

"No!" Her hands went protectively to her belly. "I'm keeping it."

He smiled. "I expected as much. Do you want to tell Uther?"

"No," she repeated. "I'm leaving. I cannot stay here. He doesn't have to know."

"Okay," he said. "I can't give you anything to stop the morning sickness or give you energy, but those symptoms will soon leave you. I will tell Uther that it will soon run its course and you will be joining him for dinner in one week's time."

Morgana didn't protest. "Good. I would like to see Merlin's room, if that is okay."

"When the week is up. We must pretend, for the king's sake, that you are recovering from a flu."

She nodded. "Yes. Thank you Gaius."

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**For all of you who said you would cry if he died, you're not alone. I cried while I was writing it. A lot. I don't even know how I got through it... – but the story is not yet finished! It's called "Morgana's Revenge" for a reason. Though that isn't the best title now I've thought about it...**

**I'm sure that some (if not most) of you will dislike me for killing Merlin, but I kinda felt that putting a child into the mix offset Merlin's death a little... No? Are you sure? Sorry. T.T**


	5. Chapter 5: The Book's Discovery

**Hello loyal readers! I say loyal because, if you are reading this, you clearly don't detest me for killing Merlin... or at least are interested in what's going to happen next. And there are those of you who don't like me for killing him, which I'm okay with too. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. So, yeah, the story isn't over quite yet. Please, keep reading and reviewing! You have no idea how much I love reviews... they're like chocolate.**

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CHAPTER 5: THE BOOK'S DISCOVERY

A week from that fateful day when everything changed, Morgana found herself dressing for dinner with the king. Gwen said nothing as she finished tying the sash around her slender waist. It was gold, the dress green. _For Merlin_, Morgana thought, smoothing it with her hands.

"There," Gwen said, stepping back. "Beautiful."

"Thank you." Morgana splayed her fingers across her stomach unconsciously. She had not yet confided in Gwen, perhaps out of fear that the servant would let something slip to someone without noticing, but mostly because she loved her delicious secret. The child was hers, her only reason to go on besides her oath to Merlin. "You may go." Gwen curtsied and left, looking over her shoulder.

Morgana took a deep breath and put her hand on the door handle, preparing to leave her sanctuary for the first time in almost a month. As she walked through the castle halls, she thought that castle was exactly as she remembered it. She could almost imagine that she would turn the corner and Merlin would be standing there, a flower in his hand and a smile on his lips. He would pull her into a hug, kiss her while no one was looking. She pulled herself from the daydream. Merlin was dead – gone. That was the long and short of it.

The guards opened the doors to the hall and she entered. Uther sat at the head of the table, a feast spread before him. To his right sat Arthur, and on his left sat an empty chair. "Ah, Morgana," the king said, standing up as she entered. "Are you feeling better?" he asked, as though nothing had happened.

"Yes, my lord," she replied, taking her seat. The king sat down as a servant pushed in her chair. "Much."

The meal passed uneventfully. Morgana said little, letting Arthur and the king make awkward small talk as they shared the mostly boring recent news of the kingdom. She excused herself early, claiming to not be fully recovered from the flu.

"Let me escort you to your chambers," Arthur said eagerly, jumping to his feet. His underlying distaste for his father had been evident, to Morgana at least, for the entire meal.

"No thank you," she returned. "I believe I shall go see Gaius first, ask if he has something to help my stomach." She hurried from the room, hating herself for sitting so quietly beside Merlin's killer. Gaius's door was cracked open, and she slid inside, clicking it shut behind her.

"Morgana," he said, standing up. "I was expecting you a little later."

"I couldn't sit there, Gaius, I just couldn't. How can he expect everything to be the same? It will never be the same." She could feel tears pushing at her eyes, but forced them back angrily. Taking a deep breath, she steadied her feelings. "Can I see his room?"

"Here," the physician said, standing up and moving towards a small set of stairs in the back. She followed him into a small, rather messy room. "I haven't the heart to clean it yet."

Before he left, she called out to him. "Gaius!" He stopped and turned around. "Why didn't I see you when Merlin-" She couldn't finish the sentence.

He looked deeply sad. "Merlin was like my son. I couldn't have watched him die. He understood."

"Thank you," she said, quietly. He nodded and left, closing the door and leaving her alone in the room. Slowly she paced the small room, looking with vague interest at the clothes scattered across the wooden floor. She paused by a small cabinet, and heard a slow creaking. The board beneath her foot wobbled slightly. Her interest piqued despite her attempts to repress it, Morgana knelt down and pulled at the wood. It came up easily, revealing a cloth-wrapped parcel. Carefully, she pulled it from the cubbyhole and put it on the unmade bed.

Her heart beat faster in anticipation as she fingered the rough cloth. _What was it that Merlin was hiding?_ she wondered, intrigued. It looked like a very large book, and when she pulled back the covering, her suspicions were confirmed.

The book was light brown, worn through years of use. Without even bothering to read the title, Morgana opened the book and flipped through it. _It's a book of magic,_ she realized with wonder at Merlin's daring.

She didn't read it though. She couldn't bring herself to, as a fresh wave of grief at Merlin's passing overtook her. It felt raw and new, as though she had just seen him die again. She crawled onto his rumpled covers and drew the book into her, cradling it against her chest as though it were the most precious thing in the world. For the first time since his death, Morgana allowed herself to cry. Great sobs wracked her body and she shook with the force of them. When she had cried herself out, she fell asleep, still wrapped around the book, in Merlin's room.

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**A little bit of a short chapter I know, but the next one is longer, I promise. By the way, did you all notice that thing between Gaius and Morgana? If you didn't, and you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, read it again... if you care, that is. But it is a little important – to me if to nobody else. Well, and possibly to the future of the story. :)**


	6. Chapter 6: A Visit

**The number of people who have put this story on alert/favorite is literally blowing my mind. Brain pieces are scattered across my desk. Okay, not _really_, but it is totally amazing! Thank you guys so much! This is so cool! There are more than 30 people who have it alerted (or have had at some point...). Love to all of you! 3**

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CHAPTER 6: A VISIT

Gaius woke Morgana the next morning. She shook her head, confused. "Where am I?" she asked blearily, sitting up. Then she remembered. "Oh."

"Gwen is here. She's been looking for you." She swung her legs out of the bed, then realized she was still holding the book. "I see you've found Merlin's book," Gaius said, reaching out for it. "It might be best if I keep that for you, at least for now."

She relinquished it to him reluctantly. "I would like to read it, if I could."

"Yes, you may have it," Gaius said. "I will bring it to you later today."

"Thank you."

"Best not keep Gwen waiting." The physician gave her a small, supportive smile.

"Yes," she responded a little absentmindedly. Morgana stood up and went down into the main room, to where her maid was waiting for her in a state of slight agitation.

"Lady Morgana, I was so worried when I couldn't find you this morning," she said, reaching for her. "Arthur said you'd come here after dinner, so I came to ask Gaius. I'm so glad that I found you."

"Sorry to worry you," Morgana replied, taking Gwen's hand and squeezing it.

They left Gaius's apartment and returned to Morgana's, ignoring the strange looks they got over the lady's slightly disheveled appearance. When they got back to her room, Gwen brushed out Morgana's hair and helped her redress. "Thank you," Morgana said when she was finished. "That will be all."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Gwen said in concern, her eyes searching Morgana's impassive face.

"Gwen, I have something to tell you," she said impulsively, drawing her friend down to sit beside her on the edge of her bed. She took a deep, fortifying breath before saying suddenly, "I'm pregnant."

"Really?" She sounded happy rather than shocked. "Merlin's?"

"Yes. But Uther mustn't know."

"Of course," Gwen said, looking at Morgana's blue-clad stomach. "How long have you known?"

"About a week and a half."

"What are you going to do about it?"

Morgana took a deep breath, spreading her fingers across the satin. "I'm keeping it. And I'm leaving Camelot. I cannot stay here, with what Uther has done."

"I understand." Gwen pulled Morgana into a hug. "I will do whatever I can to help you. Do you know where you will go?"

"I think I will return to my father's castle."

Gwen pulled away and stood up. "I have work to do. If you need anything, though, I will be here for you. Thank you for confiding in me, my lady."

Morgana smiled. "Go. Thank you for listening." The door clicked shut behind Gwen, and Morgana lay back on her bedcovers, fingers still on her stomach. "I will avenge you, Merlin, before I leave," she vowed to the ceiling. "Upon the life within me, I will avenge your death."

She stood and moved to her desk, tapping the metal tip of her quill against the wood as she thought, pulling a fresh sheet of paper towards her.

Three hours later, she had the basic outline of her plan for both revenge and escape. She was startled out of her reverie by a sharp tapping at her door. "One moment!" she called, hastily covering the paper with another one and drying the quill. When she opened the door, she found Arthur standing there.

"Would you like to go riding with me after lunch?" he asked, suave as ever.

She smiled. "Of course. What time is it?"

The prince smiled back. "Time for lunch. Would you like to eat with me?"

_I must keep up the façade,_ she told herself severely, though the part of her that blamed Arthur was crying out for her to shut him down and refuse. "Of course," she said instead, following him out of the room.

Lunch was uneventful; it was only when they'd left the courtyard on their horses did things get more interesting. Arthur took a turn down a side road, leading out of the city by a route that Morgana didn't recognize. "Where are we going?" she called, urging her horse forward to walk beside his.

He looked over at her, sadness etched in his face. "I thought you might want to see Merlin's grave. You missed the funeral when you were locked in your room."

Morgana was speechless. She had totally forgotten the fact that Merlin would have been buried, would have a grave somewhere. What shocked her more was that Arthur was going to take her there. She was certain that Uther had forbidden him to go there himself, much less take Morgana. She could feel her pent-up anger with the Pendragon prince fade a little, but not entire dissipate.

They clattered through the small gates to the city onto a narrow dirt path leading into the forest. "Are you sure this is the right way?" she asked Arthur, a little anxiously.

"Yes. I come here almost every day," was his surprising reply. They passed through the woods in silence after that, coming soon to a medium-sized clearing. Graves were lined up along the grassy floor, their headstones ranging from ancient and worn to new and shiny. Some were obviously well-frequented and had flowers lying on the grass before the stones.

Arthur dismounted, followed by Morgana. He led her through the rows to a new stone, starkly white against the bright green of the grass that surrounded it. The viridescent blades growing over the small mound were thin and new, just struggling up from the earth. For a moment they stood there, saying nothing. Morgana dropped to her knees, throwing aside any thoughts she might have had for her clothes. Her dark blue velvet cloak puddled around her, like a pool of sorrow and tears.

"Could you give me a moment?" she asked the prince, her voice trembling slightly.

"Of course." Arthur backed off and began to stroll the stones, keeping a watchful eye on the girl.

Morgana dug her fingers into the soft earth, tears pooling in her eyes and running down her porcelain-pale cheeks. Her mind finally took in the letters carved into the snow colored rock.

**MERLIN  
BELOVED SON  
LOYAL FRIEND  
MAY YOU REST IN PEACE **

She broke into wracking sobs, her whole body shaking with the force of her grief. She didn't know how long she knelt there, overcome by sorrow. Finally, she took a deep shuddering breath and regained control of herself. "Merlin," she whispered to the air. "I don't know how I can go on without you. You were everything to me." For another couple of seconds she was silent. "Guess what?" she asked, as though he were there and could hear her. "You're going to be a father!" Her enthusiasm felt forced. "So I guess I do have something to live for. I just wish you could be here too."

Morgana had much more to say, but before she could, Arthur came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I need to speak to you." The seriousness in his voice caught Morgana's attention.

"What about?"

Arthur looked, for the first time in her experience, nervous. "I really am sorry about what happened to Merlin. Believe me, if I could have done anything, I would have. You may never forgive me, and I will understand, but you are not alone in your pain."

She looked at him coldly. "You are right. I may never forgive you, but I doubt that you feel the pain that I feel."

Arthur bent his head in acknowledgement, but hurt was evident in his blue eyes at her rejection of his support and camaraderie. "We need to be heading back to Camelot," he said gently, before stepping away again. He tried not to begrudge Morgana her feelings. He probably would have felt the same in her position.

Morgana pulled out her handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes before standing up. "Goodbye Merlin," she said. "I love you."

As they rode out of the cemetery, she looked back, her eyes picking out Merlin's grave. For a second it seemed that it wasn't as long as Merlin had been tall, but she shook the thought from her head. It would be years before she ever returned there.

**####**

When she returned to her chambers, there was a folded note on her desk, atop the stack of other papers. She slid it into her palm and opened it quickly, before Gwen could see and question it.

**UNDER THE BED**

She quickly refolded it and slipped it into her sleeve, then looked under the bed. The book was pushed against the wall, wrapped in the piece of cloth and almost invisible in the dark. Morgana pulled it out from its dusty hiding spot and unwrapped it again. The book was heavier than she remembered as she laid it on the desk and opened it, searching for the spell she wanted.

**#####**

**So here is the sad truth – there is only one more chapter left. T.T Well, plus an epilogue. But stay tuned! I love getting the alerts/favorites/reviews, so please keep it up!**


	7. Chapter 7: Revenge

**There are so many people who have put this on alert, I'm amazed. Mostly I'm in shock at how many people seem to like the story, even after I killed Merlin... or did I? :) Anyway, I hope you enjoy the last full chapter!**

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CHAPTER 7: REVENGE

For two weeks Morgana planned and practiced. By that time she could use magic to make herself disappear and reappear anywhere she wished, even as far away as the forests outside of Camelot. She had also chosen the stage for her vengeance. Uther had invited her to a small dinner with himself and Arthur two nights hence, and she planned it for then.

She packed her bags, including as many of her dresses as she could spare, the book of magic, and the small portrait of Merlin that Gaius had hidden in the pages of the book. When the night came, she would be ready.

**#####**

The night had come. Morgana was wearing a white dress and a small gold necklace curled around her throat, matching the one on her wrist. Gwen had admired her taste as she had dressed that night, and Morgana had thanked her, thinking that the outfit was perfect for her plans. She was aware that it made her appear ethereal and stunning, which was just the look she desired for the night.

Her dresses were growing a little more full around her abdomen, but not noticeably. When she was alone, Morgana would imagine that Merlin were there too, to feel her growing child and help her chose names. She could imagine the smile on his face, the light that would glitter in his eyes whenever he thought or talked about it.

"How have you been?" Gwen asked out of the blue as she combed Morgana's hair in preparation for the dinner.

"I'm feeling better," she said. "The morning sickness has stopped being as awful as it was at first, and I'm not as tired all the time. Gaius said I might start having headaches though."

"That's really good, but I was thinking more of how you've been dealing with Merlin's... passing." Gwen's voice shook with sorrow despite the time that had elapsed.

She stared out the window, trying not to think of how many nights she had cried herself to sleep in the silence of her room. "It gets no easier with the passage of time. I just grow more used to it."

"I'm sorry," Gwen said sympathetically. "When are you planning on leaving Camelot, my lady?"

Morgana didn't answer for a moment as she thought of how to phrase her response. "Soon," she said finally. "Very soon now, I think."

The combing stopped and Gwen appeared at Morgana's side. She turned to look her maid in the face. "I can come with you," she offered. "If you want me to."

Morgana shook her head. "No, Gwen. You must stay here. I understand that you're loyal, and I love you for it, but I couldn't ask you to leave everything you know."

Gwen nodded. It was clear that she'd offered out of love for Morgana, not out of any desire to leave the white city. She gave the lady one last appraising look before saying, "There. You're ready."

"Thank you. You may go." Gwen curtsied and left. Morgana crossed to her desk and opened one of the top drawers, pulling the contents out. The blade of the knife glittered silver in the candlelight as she examined it. Then, sliding it back into the leather sheath, she attached the straps to her lower left arm. Shaking her sleeve down over it, she examined herself in the mirror. The loose fabric hid the knife perfectly, as she'd known it would. It was one reason she'd chosen the dress.

Turning, she left her room and made her way down to the hall, where Uther and Arthur already sat, the food untouched, awaiting her arrival. Uther sat at the head, Arthur to his right, and an empty seat to his left. As she entered the room, they both stood, and the king moved to pull her chair out for her. She silently lowered herself into it.

"I'm so glad you agreed to join us tonight, Morgana," Uther said busily, serving himself and her. "There is something that I wish to discuss with you."

Morgana picked up her knife and fork and speared a chicken breast. "What is that, my lord?" she asked politely, struggling, as she always did, not to jump up and leave, detesting his very existence.

"A young lord is coming to visit. His father has long been growing distant from Camelot, and I fear that he will soon try to separate or go to war against me. I wish for you to marry the visiting lord, or at least court him. Try to draw his family closer to Camelot in whatever way possible."

Morgana dropped her utensils in shock. "What?"

"You heard me. And I expect no fight from you on this point. The young man in question is said to be quite handsome and charming. And rich." Uther's tone left no room for questions or disagreement.

Her gray eyes traveled across the table to Arthur, who shook his head almost imperceptibly. She wrestled for control of her emotions for a couple of moments. "Yes, my lord," she said once control had been regained.

"Good." Uther didn't look up from his meal, passively accepting her change of heart. Morgana hated him with all her being. She went through the motions of eating, feeling the rage burn bright inside her, like a flame. This time she didn't bother to smother it as she had before, instead allowing it to grow and consume her. This was her one time to let it out of her control like that.

The meal wore on. Servants took away the first course and put the second on the table. Morgana was eating more than she was used to, and she imagined the food feeding the child growing inside of her, detaching herself from the conversation. Suddenly, she realized that the second course was coming to an end. She needed to act.

"Uther," she said loudly, interrupting his monologue on the current problems of trade with Mercia.

"Yes," he said, a little startled at this interjection.

Morgana didn't beat around the bush. "I hate you. I hate all that you stand for. You killed the one man I could ever love because you believed that he was below my station, and forced me to watch while you did it. I will never forgive you for this, or for pushing sorcerers into hiding. Not all of them are bad; you trusted Merlin and he certainly was not a bad man. In fact, he was the best, kindest, most generous man I have ever met." Uther and Arthur were staring at her in complete shock at this proclamation. It was too late to back out, even if she had wanted to. "You are an awful king. You abuse your people and instill fear in them where you should instill love and loyalty. Where you should seek friends you make enemies and in making enemies you grow in fear. It's a cycle, a sick one that you don't know how to break. You are an awful king, a terrible man and you do not deserve the crown or the throne. Camelot will be better without you." She stood up, her chair scraping on the stone floor. "I will never forgive you for what you have done to me, and what you did to Merlin. You were supposed to love and protect me like my own father, and you have driven me to depression and shown me death. I hate you, Uther Pendragon. I will never forgive you. You deserve a long and slow death." She reached for the knife and drew it, glittering, from its sheath beneath her flowing white sleeve. "So I will give it to you." Unhesitatingly, she plunged it into the king's chest, sinking it up to the hilt. Blood ran from the wound, pooling around the handle and seeping through the cloth.

Uther's eyes, locked on Morgana's face while she spoke, moved to the hilt of the blade protruding from his chest. Disbelief crossed his face her betrayal, but when he opened his mouth, he couldn't form words.

"No!" Arthur screamed. He had reacted when the knife had appeared, but was too slow. "Guards!" The doors crashed open. "Seize her!"

Morgana raised a hand and her eyes flashed gold with magic. The guards froze, her magic encasing them. "You cannot defeat me, Arthur Pendragon. The knife is poisoned. Your father will not survive, but he will have a month to think on the mistakes of his past and reflect on his complete and total failure as a king, a man, and a guardian." The prince moved desperately around the table to his father and pulled the knife from his chest. Blood poured like a river from the injury, and he put his hands firmly over it, trying to staunch the flow.

"You will pay for this!" he growled, loathing and disbelief rooting themselves on his face.

"I have righted the world," she said calmly, stepping back so she was clear of the table and the chair. She could feel the rage fading away inside of her, cooling back into a wide, slow river of pain and grief. "_Iendo randra kasam undir rodnineibok ingf_,"she intoned, raising her hands.

"No!" Arthur screamed, unwilling to leave his father to apprehend her. "Guards!" More red-clad men swarmed into the room, their armor clanking heavily. They were too late.

"_Losoda ynale aldlye rezlor stian_!" Morgana was illuminated from behind by a bright light, and for a moment she appeared as an angel. Then white flames of magic licked up her body and she disappeared with a blinding flash.

**#####**

**For those who wonder (I would be one), the spell is nonsense words that I made up by putting a bunch of letters together and then reading them out loud to see how impressive they sounded. If you do it with the right inflection, they do sound pretty cool. :)**

**Some of y'all have asked about a sequel (or said that you're sad it's ending), and I certainly am doing one. I'm also sad it's almost over. This story was sort of a test drive, and given the response I certainly will write one, if not several, sequels. I might also possibly write a prequel. However, I also have other ideas for Merlin fics, which I will most likely end up writing (if I haven't already written them) and publishing.**

**Nothing, not even the complete sequel, will be published until after February 1st, regardless of whether it's already written or not. The sequel will probably take me longer to write than a week though, so that may be published mid-February. I'd like to finish everything before I publish it... I do a lot of editing as I'm publishing though. It's kinda funny. Wow. Long note...**


	8. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

Morgana stood at the window of her castle, looking down at the expanding village below. The people went about their business like any day, used by now to the occupancy of the castle. Her reappearance and claiming ownership of the building had caused quite a stir, but things had quickly settled down as she had proved herself a kind and forgiving leader.

Magic was returning to the small town, slowly, but as word spread, sorcerers were flooding the streets and erecting small shantytowns outside the flimsy wooden walls of the village. Morgana was already in discussions with builders to expand the town and build stronger fortifications.

Her gaze shifted from the ground to the mountains in the distance. Camelot lay on the other side of them. She could almost see the white city before her. By now Arthur must have been made king, but she had had no news from that quarter in almost a year. She wondered what it was like to be king of an entire kingdom. Here she was like a queen, but had almost no actual power. The people though, had given her power, mostly because she was benevolent and dedicated to helping them improve their lives, despite any anti-magic decrees that might have issued from Camelot.

The lady was pulled from her musing by a shrill cry. She crossed the wide room to the double crib and looked down at her small children. One was squirming and tossing uncomfortably, and she scooped the baby into her arms before he could disturb his sister. She crossed the room to the window after making sure that her daughter had not woken.

Morgana looked down at her son, squirming quietly in her arms. "My precious Cade," she said to the child's shut eyes. "If only your father could see you now."

**#####**

**That's the end. I know, unsatisfying for some of us – myself included! Which is why I'm doing a sequel.**

**I chose the name "Cade" because it's a Welsh name that means "battler", and I thought it appropriate, because both of his parents fought for what they believed in, using whatever means available and necessary. As for his twin sister's name... I guess y'all will just have to wait. :)**


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